I am sure that for most of you "Death" is one of the most feared subjects more often ignored than discussed. Everyone who has ever lived has died. We are all dying - whether we have been diagnosed with a life threatening illness or not. I have learned that death can come at any time, at any age and in countless unexpected ways. How will you handle it? How can and help others to handle it? As many of you are aware, I have seen a lot of death in my lifetime and I would like to take a minute to share what I have learned in the hope that it may bring some comfort to you.

Our current world census puts about five billion beings on this planet, and everyday about 250,000 of us die. That means that every year about 75 million people die, by accident, by disease, by murder or by other causes. I have seen many people die in terror and confusion, not accepting their death. I have also seen others die surrendering to death with an open mind, and with love and peace. I had a particular patient involved in a serious accident whose memory I cannot escape. Mr. "Patient", (due to confidentiality), was involved in an accident that was about to take his life. I knew it, but he knew it too. On-route to the hospital, he turned to me, grabbed my hand and pleaded, "Please tell my wife and my children that I love them." The minute I made the promise, he went into full cardiac arrest. I can still hear the sound of his voice. This was the most unselfish thing that I have ever heard come out of a dying patient’s mouth. Most dying people plead and even beg me to help them escape their inevitable fate. Mr. patient’s life has been replaced by another and in 80 years, we will all have been replaced. In fact, our replacements are being born every day, every second. However, death happens to not only us, but animals, too. Even insects are dying and being born every second. Plants, trees and flowers are dying, shedding seeds and being born again. We can even say that mountains are being born and dying, if we want to consider geological change as a kind of death. Rivers are born and die, and, according to astronomers, even solar systems and universes are subject to destruction. Even our thoughts and emotions are born and die shortly after we experience them.

It is important to explore and identify the feelings or emotions we have with regard to death. Typical responses to death include: fear, sadness, grief, hopelessness and anger. Although these emotions can be quite overwhelming, we can learn to deal with them, to lessen them, even to transcend them so that we can cope better with death. These uncomfortable emotions are not inherent in our minds. They exist due to mistaken views and attitudes. By recognizing and correcting these attitudes, we can free ourselves from the emotions that disturb our peace of mind. One of the best ways we can begin to overcome fear and discomfort regarding death is to make ourselves more familiar with it. This can be accomplished by meditating on and maintaining awareness of death, not deny it by trying to cover it up. We use make-up to hide the affects of aging. We colour our hair, and go so far as to experience cosmetic surgery to hide our ever-coming death. Yet, a part of us knows that we cannot escape it.

The best way to help someone who is dying is to help him or her to have a positive, peaceful mind. That means being free of disturbing emotions such as fear, anger, attachment, depression, etc. To be able to help someone else achieve such a state of mind, we need to work on our own state of mind, i.e. work on reducing our own fear, etc. If we have disturbing emotions regarding death it will be very difficult to help another person to overcome these. In the case of a loved one, it’s best to learn to let them go. Clinging to them will cause their mind to be disturbed. Best is to be calm and peaceful; willing to listen to whatever they wish to say; be kind and sensitive and supportive, but try to avoid strong emotional reactions. If the dying person belongs to another religion, encourage them to have faith, to pray, to have positive thoughts, etc. in accordance with their religious beliefs and practices. Don’t try to impose your own beliefs or try to convert them. To be of real support we have to be willing to step out from behind our well-defended personalities or belief systems and relinquish our need to control. In this act of surrendering, a door opens and we discover, with the dying person, a spaciousness that is larger than our individual life but which is able to include it. This evokes a heightened sense of appreciation for the sacredness in ordinary things and activities. Our heaven, our enlightenment, is here and now and we can help people taste these experiences before they die.

Those of you that attended the "Mind" seminar last month had a difficult time with the death meditation. Describing your experience seemed very frightening, very obstinate, very profound and very personal. Yet each one of you felt the same physical experience. The dying individual feels the same way. Some may want to talk about it, but may be too overwhelmed. They realize that they are going through this alone. How much more profound and personal can you get than that? One of my teachers once stated, "All pain and suffering, loss and death need to be handled with compassion. To prevent us from being overwhelmed by emotions, we need the wisdom of the "Truth," or "Tao," to perceive everything in its totality." This means to see beyond the delusions that cloud our mind. This may get a little complex for some, but we function in the environment of relative truth as perceived by us; hence while we train our minds to see the ultimate truth, the relative truth is very real in our daily lives.

The Heart Sutra of Mahayana Buddhism states, "Form is no other than Emptiness, Emptiness is No other than Form; Form is exactly Emptiness and Emptiness is exactly Form." This is probably the most famous line in the sutra. The Sutra teaches us that all form is empty of an unchanging self or nature. All phenomena are constantly changing, it is only the mind that perceives it to be a form which is apparently independent and unchanging. This is complex. Let me explain with an analogy. A watch is empty of an inherent self within the aggregates of springs, metal and gears, nothing is inherently a watch. But, the congregation of aggregates makes a watch with the characteristic function of an instrument that keeps time. Hence, Form is a manifestation of this state of emptiness with a real function. Therefore; in ultimate truth, a watch does not exist, but conventionally, the complex instrument that tells time "exists." What they are saying is that no phenomena are of itself real. What is true is the "selflessness," and, "Beginningless" nature of all forms.

When I palpated my father’s final heartbeat and watched as he took his last agonol breath, I left the room never to return to it. The only thing left in that room was the rapidly changing empty shell that helped my father to manifest himself in this world. The gears metal and springs. But, where was the self? The other minds in the room perceived the parts to be the self called Frank and they stayed at his bedside for a long time as if his form had not changed. This is attachment. On the other hand, I looked up into the space above the parts and winked. These people suffered more because of their attachment to the physical and not the spiritual essence of the self called Frank.

My father was in denial with his inevitable death (Change) and I had to comfort him in other ways. The only regret that I had was that I never had a chance to say what needed to be said when he was alive. This brought tears to my eyes. Remember! A warrior knows its ok to cry and a warrior knows it ok to die. There is no room for the ego in a healthy mind.

This newsletter is not meant to teach you how to die, but rather it should teach you how to live. I questioned Sensei once about his thoughts on death. He stated that he was more concerned about living and why shouldn’t he be. How can one expect to have a peaceful death if one has not practiced a peaceful life? So, go out and practice morality; practice being a good human being; and go beyond the ego and say what needs to be said to those that you love because, take it from me, you may not get the chance tomorrow.

mysticmt@rogers.com if you want to talk about personal situations regarding death or loss.

"Just keep going!"

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